Some days
by The Bickering Kingdom
Summary: Frussell Drabbles and one shots mainly will be angst, but some fluff at some point.
1. Some Days

**Disclaimer: I do not own CSI.**

**There were days when she hated him for a variety of reasons, mainly because he broke every promise he ever made to her. **

**He shattered her heart into unfixable pieces and he did with such ease it shocked her. **

**Then there were the days that her heart reminded her head that she loved him, those days drained Finn more than the' days she hated him.**

**Because those days reminded her that DB had once loved her the way she loved him, but for some reason he switched that feeling of.**

**One minute he loved her, wanted her and everything, and everyone could go to hell.**

**Then out of no where it was "I can't do this anymore," and everything around her fell apart.**

**It wasn't entirety DB's fault this she knew, but he had a part to play in it.**

**She'd long accepted that her own weaknesses played a hand in her world becoming a chaotic mess.**

**Her weaknesses that had left everything complicated. **


	2. Letting Her Go

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own CSI.

A massive thank you my readers and reviewers.

R &amp; R

* * *

She looked as if she were going to slap him or burst into tears, he'd prefer the slap and not for her to cry.

He wants to pull her close and whisper "I'm sorry, " but he doesn't. Because he gave up the right to do that a long time ago.

He hadn't wanted to, but he did it for her and she couldn't see that. She was self destructing from the guilt of being with him so he did the only thing he could and let her go.

If he had known she'd completely spin out of control he never would have ended things, but he hadn't so all he could do was sit back and helplessly watch it happen.

And when she'd finally moved away from him and pulled herself together he came crashing back into her life, pulling her back into his.


	3. He can't see it

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own CSI.

Set pre Vegas &amp; pre Janet Warren case.

Barbara Russell's P.O.V

He's pretending to sleep and I know that pretending, but I honestly don't have the energy to argue with him anymore tonight.

His first night off in months we've spent the majority of it arguing over something that's never going to change.

He accused me of being jealous and that I was stupid to even think that was anything going on between him and Jules.

And he's telling the truth or at least how he sees it to be true. No, physically there nothing going on between them but emotionally there is and he just doesn't see it.

He loves me, but he loves her too and not just as friend. They have this connection and chemistry that we've never had, no one can make him lose his cool faster than her.

There are days when I think that a great part of him resents meeting me first and not her. There are days I wished he had and it isn't because I don't love him or our children because I do, but he needs her and he has never needed me.

I don't know what makes her special to him. I must have asked myself "Why her?," a thousand times and never come up with an answer.

I mean out of all the people he works with why is she the only one who's been to our house for dinner. Why is she the only our children consider family. She is the one thing from his work that has ever been allowed to mix with our life together.

Maybe the first time she came to dinner should have been a clue to one day my husband would emotionally closer to her than me.

She cut her leg helping Charlie get his basketball down from the tree. It wasn't that deep of cut, but that didn't stop him fussing her over as he cleaned up her leg.

He was gentle with her like she'd break any second , but even though I'd known Jules less than two at hours at that point I know she was strong.

I still can't drill that into D.B's head even now.

She breaks up with someone and he has to support. She does something reckless and he covers her mistakes.

One day she's going to screw up really badly and he won't be able to fix it for her. And she'll hate him for it and she will, but he can't see it no matter how many times I try to make him.

Which would hurt him and there is a part of me that wants that to happen. For her to screw up, for her to hate him and for it hurt him.

Because then I'd have him, fully have him. They'd be no more running around after her, they'd be no more of me having to phone her up to come over because he's gone to a place mentally where I can't reach him and she can.

And as I hear him sigh next to me I hate myself a little for wanting this.


	4. Tears and Silence

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own CSI.

"Jules..." her name comes out like a plea. What he's pleading for he isn't sure and neither is she.

She can't or won't look at him, she keeps her eyes fixed on the wall.

"Please, just go" she says in a barely audible whisper.

But he can't make himself move, he can't make himself leave her even though it'd better for them if he did.

He's stands in one spot for so long that his legs begin to ache, but he won't move because in his head that'd be giving up. And if he gave up then he'd lose her and a part of himself.

He can hear the clock on her wall ticking, his own heart beating loudly in the silence that seems to last an eternity for him.

An eternity of silence and confusion for them both passes before she caves and looks at with tears falling down her face.


	5. Knowing Her

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own CSI.

A massive thank you to my readers and reviewers.

He understood her better than anyone else.

He knew when she said "I hate you," it usually meant "I love you, I need you and I'm sorry I screwed up,".

He knew she could never actually say those things. She could never let anyone see she needed them.

He knew when she pushed his buttons it was because she wanted his attention. No, she needed his attention whether it was negative or positive attention from him.

Why she needed it was the one thing he couldn't understand about her.

But then again he wasn't sure she understood it either.

He knew that she loved her job and she blamed him for taking it away from her Seattle. Even though she knew there wasn't a lot he could do, after what she'd done.

The most important thing he knew about her was no matter what happened in the past or future she'd always have his back.

And that he'd always tried to have hers, it may not have always seemed that way to her.

But he had and always would.

He understood and knew her better than anyone else, and that was the problem.  



	6. Kiss on the forehead

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own CSI

She was beginning to drift off to sleep, due to the painkillers and boredom of being stuck in hospital.

She senses DB enter the room, but she's too drowsy to open her eyes.

She feels him lace their fingers together, and she knows he wouldn't do that if he knew that she hadn't fully drifted off.

"I'm angry, the guy that hit you with his car, and left you to die doesn't feel sorry for what he did to you, or those other women. There's a part of me, the part only you have ever been able to soothe, wants to kill him. It scares me when I feel like that its why I came here to see you," DB says, as Finn tries her hardest not to fall asleep.

"Its funny really because no-one can make me lose my cool faster than you, and yet no-one can calm faster than you," DB says, before letting out a sigh and then everything goes silent.

After what could seconds or hours Finn's not really sure, she feels their fingers are no longer laced together.

She begins to think he has left and starts to fully give into sleep; she's awake long enough just to feel him kiss her on the forehead.


End file.
